the seventh circle

This morning was one of the most frustrating yet utterly comical that I've had in this part of the world. But this time, I can't "blame Ukraine"--the amerikantsy themselves are the culprits. All libraries and archives are closed on the last day of the month--the so-called "sanitary day," although afterwards the facilities are just as unsanitary as always (no soap, no toilet paper in the bathrooms, dust everywhere) . Anyway, I decided I'd use my day off to go to the US Embassy and get pages added to my passport, which I figured would be an aggravating experience and would take some time. Sure enough, I arrive and am refused entrance because I have a small purse! Apparently, they've just decided that you can't bring ANYTHING inside. I asked the guard what I was supposed to do with my purse, and he responded that I should find someone on the street and pay them to watch it. I then ring up the Embassy to tell them that their guard is on crack and to ask them to let me in. But they respond that he's absolutely right, that they don't care what I do with my purse, but that I can't bring it in! Determined to finish my business there in one day, I walk into a random apartment building next door, empty my purse of anything that I want to see again, and pay the concierge 60 cents to watch it. She laughed and said she's been getting a lot of requests along those lines lately.

After a full body scan and multiple xrays--sans purse--I was finally admitted to the inner sanctum, which is well stocked with hand sanitizer and pamphlets warning of the coming influenza epidemic. But I left with a fatter passport--and believe it or not, my purse was still with the concierge when I came for it. I call that a victory!