another unfortunate culinary experience

I had my biggest eating trauma thus far earlier this week. I popped out of the archive for a quick lunch at one of Kiev's many inexpensive cafeterias, which I actually rather like, since you can get "salads" (though all are cabbage-based), and even cappuccino. I took a beet and cabbage salad and some fried cheese, which ended up being stuffed with ham. For reasons that should be clear by now, I've taken to eating rather quickly. First of all, everyone else does it (this peasant nation never learned to consume soup without slurping); second of all, it makes the pig products go down easier. Halfway through, I looked down at my plastic fork and discovered that half a prong was missing. I picked through the salad and fried cheese, but I couldn't find it anywhere! Which forced me to come to the conclusion that I had eaten it. All week I've been suffering from delusions that my internal organs, impaled by a plastic fork tip, are hemorraging. But I'm still alive; so far, so good!